1. It’s Illegal to Handle Salmon Suspiciously
Under the Salmon Act 1986, it’s illegal to “handle salmon in suspicious circumstances.” Yes, really! The law was created to combat illegal fish trading, but the wording sounds more like a sketch from a British comedy show than serious legislation.
2. No Wearing of Armour in Parliament
An ancient statute from 1313 still technically bans anyone from wearing suits of armour in Parliament. It was aimed at preventing knights from intimidating lawmakers — but today, it’s just a quirky reminder of medieval politics.
3. Don’t Shake Your Rug in the Street
According to the Town Police Clauses Act 1847, you’re not allowed to beat or shake carpets, rugs, or mats in a public place. Though doormats are fine — but only before 8 a.m.!
4. It’s Illegal to Be Drunk in a Pub
Under the Licensing Act 1872, it’s actually illegal to be intoxicated in a licensed premises — yes, that includes pubs. So next time you’ve had one too many, technically you could be breaking the law… in the very place that sold it to you.
5. No Flying Kites in Public Places
The Metropolitan Police Act 1839 makes it unlawful to fly a kite in public places if it causes a nuisance. This includes being annoying or obstructive – so if you’re kite-flying in London parks, keep it chill.
6. It’s a Crime to Carry a Plank Along a Pavement
This one also comes from the 1839 Metropolitan Police Act. You can’t walk down the street carrying a plank of wood. Presumably to protect pedestrians from being whacked accidentally (or dramatically).
7. Don’t Slide on Ice in the Streets
Also from the 1839 Act — it’s illegal to “make slides” on icy streets. That’s right, your fun winter tradition of sliding around like a penguin could get you in trouble. Who knew?
8. It’s Illegal to Keep a Pigsty in Front of Your House
Technically, under the same 1847 law about shaking rugs, you must not keep a pigsty in front of your home, unless it’s “suitably hidden.” An oddly specific yet hilarious rule.
9. You May Not Enter the House of Parliament With a Sword
While not strictly enforced anymore, ancient customs ban carrying swords into Parliament. These traditions date back centuries and are still ceremonially upheld — even Black Rod knocks three times during the State Opening.
10. Whales and Sturgeon Belong to the King
Under a law from the 1322 Royal Prerogative, any whale or sturgeon caught in UK waters is the property of the monarch. So if you’re out fishing and haul in a royal sturgeon, better call Buckingham Palace!
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1: Are these funny laws in the UK still enforced?
Most are not enforced, but they technically remain part of UK legislation unless repealed.
Q2: Why do these weird laws still exist?
They’ve simply never been removed or updated. Many are harmless and left as historical curiosities.
Q3: Could I actually be fined for breaking one?
While unlikely, technically yes. In practice, police and courts use discretion and focus on modern law enforcement.
Q4: Are there laws like these in other countries too?
Absolutely! Many nations have old, odd laws still on the books.
Q5: Can someone get arrested for flying a kite in a park?
Only if it’s causing a public nuisance, and even then, enforcement is rare.
Q6: Who decides when these old laws get repealed?
Parliament is responsible for updating or repealing outdated laws, often during legislative reforms.
Conclusion
While most of these funny laws that still exist in the UK are relics of a bygone era, they offer a humorous glimpse into the country’s quirky legal history. From suspicious salmon to outlawed pigsties, they remind us that lawmaking — like history — has its fair share of absurdities. Just don’t take your kite, sword, or salmon on your next trip to Parliament!
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